How to Not Be a Jerkface

The other night while eating some noodles in a Chinese street food restaurant, I noticed a man crossing the street with his son who looked no older than four or five. His hand was in the air, holding the bigger one of the bigger person next to him. They both had goofy smiles on, though very different genres of goofy.

The Dad’s suggested a funny combination between embarrassment and pride while the little boys face was glowing with joy and childlike shyness. They walked across the street towards me, and the closer they got, the clearer the boys headwear became. On top of his messy little boy hair sat a paper hat reading the name “LOGAN” in sparkly green letters. He walked with purpose, as children do, speedily putting one step down a little too soon. He passed by me and I felt like clapping saying, “Hooray, look, it’s Logan!!” but before I had the chance I was stopped by the glory of his red cape. The cape brandished a beautiful green “L,” to remind anyone with an especially short memory span than his name started with this illustrious letter.

And right there, in the cool evening Colorado breeze, I was blessed by the presence of two generations of superheroes.

Some people aren’t this cool. They would make their kid feel silly for wanting to dress as a superhero and walk around. But not this guy. Logan’s dad was just as pleased as his son was.

I recently read an article about a man in Germany who lives with his five year old son in a very conservative village. His son, for whatever reason, really loves to wear dresses, and became afraid to go out in his clothes of choice, thanks to scoffs and laughs from others. His father, in order to make his son feel more comfortable with himself, began wearing skirts.

Unbelievable faith in the people you love is heroic. Not having that? Well, that makes you kind of an asshole doesn’t it?

I recently heard about the successful birth of one Lana Wachowski, who you may remember as Larry. Many people will not agree with or understand why someone must do this for themselves. They continue on, living like assholes in their little asshole boxes of security, never attempting any understanding of things greater than themselves.

Superman has Jor-El, as well as the Earth he is bound to, which in a way is a humbling environment for him since he is surrounded by beings who are smaller and weaker than he. However, he continues to believe in these people and the goodness that lives within them, even if they’ve buried it under masks of anger and sadness. When analyzing a character such as Bruce Wayne, especially Bruce as the Batman, it is his own faith that is buried. We as readers have faith in him, so we are made to feel heroic.

To be an asshole is to say “I don’t think you can. I know you can’t.” To be a hero however, is to not only help others through their struggle, but help ourselves too. Sometimes there won’t be a bigger hand to hold, and it doesn’t mean that we’ve been abandoned. It just means that our hand is the big one now. 

Personally, I have moments of being a hero and being an asshole. I can feel myself reaching into the darkness, cursing life for leaving me all alone sometimes. I forget that I’ve grown, and that there is nobody who can take better care of me than me. Other times I see myself and know that it’s time to get to work, doing what I can to heal others. That could be in a simple statement, a willingness to listen, or simply in a smile.

It’s very easy to tell when you’re being awesome versus when you’re being a complete twat. Feeling good is generally the best indicator. I would like to choose a life of constantly feeling amazing, and though I work toward that, there will be those bitter apples mixed into our morning fruit bowl. When they’re noticed, the important thing to do is wash it down with something yummy, then share it with someone else.

Congratulations, you just upgraded from asshole to your true self. There’s no reason to forget how powerful you are. If a five year old in Germany can inspire his own father to change his way of thinking in order to support a person he loves, then you certainly can do so too. And be open to what’s going on. We all could use a little  opinion-bending from time to time.